A businessman got on an elevator. When he entered, there was a blonde already inside who greeted him with a bright, "T-G-I-F."
He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T."
She looked puzzled and repeated, "T-G-I-F," more slowly.
He again answered, "S-H-I-T."
The blonde was trying to keep it friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile, and said as sweetly as possibly, "T-G-I-F."
The man smiled back to her and once again, "S-H-I-T."
The exasperated blonde finally decided to explain.
"'T-G-I-F' means 'Thank Goodness It's Friday.' Get it, duuhhh?"
The man answered, "'S-H-I-T' means 'Sorry, Honey, Its' Thursday.'
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Sunday, May 17, 2009
What to do when you're abducted
Everyone should take 5 minutes to read this. It may save your life or love one's life. Because of recent abductions in daylight hours, refresh yourself of these things to do in an emergency situation...
This is for you, and for you to share with your wife, your children, everyone you know. After reading these 9 crucial tips, forward them to someone you care about. It never hurts to be careful in this crazy world we live in.
1 . Tip from Tae Kwon Do :
The elbow is the strongest point on your body . If you are close enough to use it, do!
2. If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM .
Toss it away from you.... chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you, and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!
3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you, but everybody else will. This has saved lives.
4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc.) DON'T DO THIS!
The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go.
AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE. If someone is in the car with a gun to your head DO NOT DRIVE OFF, repeat: DO NOT DRIVE OFF!
Instead start the engine and speed into anything, wrecking the car. Your Air Bag will save you. If the person is in the back seat they will get the worst of it.
As soon as the car crashes get out and run. It is better than having them find your body in a remote location.
5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:
A.) Be aware: look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor, and in the back seat
B.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door.
Some serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
C.) Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle,and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back and get someone - guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. And better paranoid than dead.)
6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot. This is especially true at NIGHT!
7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN, preferably in a zig -zag pattern!
8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP
It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathy of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked 'for help' into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.
9. Another Safety Point:
Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late and she thought it was weird. The police told her 'Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.' The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a window, and she was worried
that it would crawl to the street and get run over. The policeman said, 'We already have a unit on the way, whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.' He told her that they think a serial killer has a baby's cry recorded and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby. He said they have not verified it, but have had several calls by women saying that they hear baby's cries outside their doors when they're home alone at night. Please pass this on and DO NOT open the door for a crying baby ----
The Crying Baby theory was mentioned on America's Most Wanted this past Saturday when they profiled the serial killer in Louisiana
I'd like you to forward this to all the women you know. It may save a life. A candle is not dimmed by lighting another candle. I was going to send this to the ladies only, but guys, if you love your mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, etc., you may want to pass it onto them, as well.
This is for you, and for you to share with your wife, your children, everyone you know. After reading these 9 crucial tips, forward them to someone you care about. It never hurts to be careful in this crazy world we live in.
1 . Tip from Tae Kwon Do :
The elbow is the strongest point on your body . If you are close enough to use it, do!
2. If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM .
Toss it away from you.... chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you, and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!
3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you, but everybody else will. This has saved lives.
4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc.) DON'T DO THIS!
The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go.
AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE. If someone is in the car with a gun to your head DO NOT DRIVE OFF, repeat: DO NOT DRIVE OFF!
Instead start the engine and speed into anything, wrecking the car. Your Air Bag will save you. If the person is in the back seat they will get the worst of it.
As soon as the car crashes get out and run. It is better than having them find your body in a remote location.
5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:
A.) Be aware: look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor, and in the back seat
B.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door.
Some serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
C.) Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle,and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back and get someone - guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. And better paranoid than dead.)
6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot. This is especially true at NIGHT!
7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN, preferably in a zig -zag pattern!
8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP
It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathy of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked 'for help' into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.
9. Another Safety Point:
Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late and she thought it was weird. The police told her 'Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.' The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a window, and she was worried
that it would crawl to the street and get run over. The policeman said, 'We already have a unit on the way, whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.' He told her that they think a serial killer has a baby's cry recorded and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby. He said they have not verified it, but have had several calls by women saying that they hear baby's cries outside their doors when they're home alone at night. Please pass this on and DO NOT open the door for a crying baby ----
The Crying Baby theory was mentioned on America's Most Wanted this past Saturday when they profiled the serial killer in Louisiana
I'd like you to forward this to all the women you know. It may save a life. A candle is not dimmed by lighting another candle. I was going to send this to the ladies only, but guys, if you love your mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, etc., you may want to pass it onto them, as well.
Teknologi Buat Sosej
Ada kisah seorang anak yang diberi peluang untuk belajar di Amerika untuk dapatkan degree, tapi selepas 15 tahun, x pernah lulus, akhirnya bapak dia dah x sanggup lagi tanggung beban wang untuk anaknya itu, terpaksalah dia bawak balik ke Malaysia.
Sepanjang perjalanan dari airport ke rumah, bapaknya diam aje (marah la tu).
Si anak dah rasa x best, so dia pun cari la idea untuk berbual & tunjuk pada bapak dia yang dia kat Amerika ada gain something la dgn pekembangan teknologi. So dia ckp dgn bapak dia:
Anak: Bapak tau x, kat Amerika sekarang teknologi dah maju giler. Sekarang nak buat sosej x payah nak sembelih lembu, buang kulit, masuk je lembu dalam machine, dah jadi sosej....
Bapak: Itu teknologi dah lapuk... Kat Malaysia lagi advance. Aku 32 tahun dulu, masukkan sosej aje dah keluar lembu sekor... menyusahkan plak tu...
Wakakakakakakakakakka….
Sepanjang perjalanan dari airport ke rumah, bapaknya diam aje (marah la tu).
Si anak dah rasa x best, so dia pun cari la idea untuk berbual & tunjuk pada bapak dia yang dia kat Amerika ada gain something la dgn pekembangan teknologi. So dia ckp dgn bapak dia:
Anak: Bapak tau x, kat Amerika sekarang teknologi dah maju giler. Sekarang nak buat sosej x payah nak sembelih lembu, buang kulit, masuk je lembu dalam machine, dah jadi sosej....
Bapak: Itu teknologi dah lapuk... Kat Malaysia lagi advance. Aku 32 tahun dulu, masukkan sosej aje dah keluar lembu sekor... menyusahkan plak tu...
Wakakakakakakakakakka….
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Healthy Time Table
There are 12 important organs in our body, which will be at its peak for
two hours a day. Normal health or disease of any person depends on this factor. To lead a healthy life, one should learn one's own body functioning language.
Time Organs Remarks
Early Morning
3-5 AM LUNGS - It is good to wake up at this hour. The ozone
content in atmosphere will be more at this time, which will give a new
lease of energy if we practice breathing exercise, yogasanas and
meditation. Asthma patient cannot sleep in this time and will suffer breathlessness.
Morning
5-7 AM LARGE INTESTINE - If a person gets up in this time will not
have constipation problem. If bowel's movement and taking bath in cold water are done during this time, then he will not have any nervous debility.
7-9 AM STOMACH - Breakfast should be completed during this time.
9-11 AM SPLEEN - It is better to avoid eating. If food is taken in
this time, it will increase body temperature, tiredness will increase and
digestion power will come down. Particularly diabetic patient will
suffer from palpitation, drowsiness etc.
Noon
11-1 PM HEART- Only water can be taken at this time. One shall neither do any hard work nor sleep at this time. Otherwise more carbon-di-oxide will get mixed with oxygen and chances of getting heart attack or paralytic attack or body pain are likely. Generally doctors will be on double alert in hospitals during this time because heart and diabetic patients may get heart attack during this time compared to other hours.
Mid Day
1-3 PM SMALL INTESTINE - After taking lunch, 5 minutes of rest can be taken just by closing eyes. Sleep shall be avoided.
Afternoon
3-5 PM URINARY BLADDER - It is the right time for coffee, tea or juice etc.
Evening
5-7 PM KIDNEY - This is the time to relax from routine work otherwise renal failure or urinary infection may trouble.
Night
7-9 PM HEART WALL - Supper should have been completed during this hour. Otherwise palpitation or chest pain may arise.
Late Night
9-11 PM TEMPERATURE WARMER - This is the time to recharge the organs that worked since morning. So one shall go down to sleep and avoid reading books, watching TV or working with office files.
Mid Night
11-1 PM GALL BLADDER - One must sleep during this time otherwise
one will not have any energy for next day work.
Too early morning
1-3 AM LIVER - This is the time for deep sleep. Otherwise it will
affect eyesight and body irritation.
Living in accordance with the above listed clock of organs enhanced with
yogasanas will illuminate colour and health. This has been prescribed inYogasastra.
two hours a day. Normal health or disease of any person depends on this factor. To lead a healthy life, one should learn one's own body functioning language.
Time Organs Remarks
Early Morning
3-5 AM LUNGS - It is good to wake up at this hour. The ozone
content in atmosphere will be more at this time, which will give a new
lease of energy if we practice breathing exercise, yogasanas and
meditation. Asthma patient cannot sleep in this time and will suffer breathlessness.
Morning
5-7 AM LARGE INTESTINE - If a person gets up in this time will not
have constipation problem. If bowel's movement and taking bath in cold water are done during this time, then he will not have any nervous debility.
7-9 AM STOMACH - Breakfast should be completed during this time.
9-11 AM SPLEEN - It is better to avoid eating. If food is taken in
this time, it will increase body temperature, tiredness will increase and
digestion power will come down. Particularly diabetic patient will
suffer from palpitation, drowsiness etc.
Noon
11-1 PM HEART- Only water can be taken at this time. One shall neither do any hard work nor sleep at this time. Otherwise more carbon-di-oxide will get mixed with oxygen and chances of getting heart attack or paralytic attack or body pain are likely. Generally doctors will be on double alert in hospitals during this time because heart and diabetic patients may get heart attack during this time compared to other hours.
Mid Day
1-3 PM SMALL INTESTINE - After taking lunch, 5 minutes of rest can be taken just by closing eyes. Sleep shall be avoided.
Afternoon
3-5 PM URINARY BLADDER - It is the right time for coffee, tea or juice etc.
Evening
5-7 PM KIDNEY - This is the time to relax from routine work otherwise renal failure or urinary infection may trouble.
Night
7-9 PM HEART WALL - Supper should have been completed during this hour. Otherwise palpitation or chest pain may arise.
Late Night
9-11 PM TEMPERATURE WARMER - This is the time to recharge the organs that worked since morning. So one shall go down to sleep and avoid reading books, watching TV or working with office files.
Mid Night
11-1 PM GALL BLADDER - One must sleep during this time otherwise
one will not have any energy for next day work.
Too early morning
1-3 AM LIVER - This is the time for deep sleep. Otherwise it will
affect eyesight and body irritation.
Living in accordance with the above listed clock of organs enhanced with
yogasanas will illuminate colour and health. This has been prescribed inYogasastra.
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